One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, I was pregnant for the third time in two years.

I had been to one ultrasound in October, 2006 in which there was a baby with no heartbeat. I had been to another ultrasound in December, 2007 for a repeat performance...another baby, no heartbeat. And one year ago today, I was sitting with Chris at the doctor's office praying against all hope that I would not have to endure another loss.

I had come to a point of surrender to the Lord's will, and I knew without a doubt, whatever the outcome of this morning's appointment, there would be nothing that HE would not help me endure or use to mold me into the person He desires me to be. Still, my palms were sweating and I had butterflies in my tummy (almost literally!!).

Here's the email I sent ONE YEAR AGO TODAY after returning from my ultrasound. I was about 7 weeks pregnant....

There's a heartbeat......And there's another heartbeat!! Two babies growing right on time!

This morning before my appointment, I read every account I could think of in the Bible where God opened a barren woman's womb and did the impossible. My faith was so encouraged by His works. Just before running out the door, I grabbed my favorite devotional, Streams in the Desert, to read in the waiting room. Here is a portion of what today's devotional said (July 22): "Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you...blessed are all they that wait for Him" (Isa. 30:18). The last paragraph of that piece says this: "Rest assured that if God waits longer than we desire, it is simply to make the blessings doubly precious." I paused right there and prayed silently, "Lord, I don't think I could handle twins, but if You think I can, I will take that blessing because YOU will help me through it." And then I didn't think about that possibility again.

Sitting in the room with Chris, waiting for the doctor to come in, I decided to look up my "theme" verse for this season--"Nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37. I choked back my tears as I read this aloud to Chris: "Therefore may we continue to persevere, for even if we took our circumstances and cast all the darkness of human doubt upon them and then hastily piled as many difficulties together as we could find against God's divine work, we could never move beyond the blessedness of His miracle-working power. May we place our faith completely in Him, for He is the God of the impossible."

Praise to the God of the impossible, who has done magnificent things for us! I am in tears as I write this because I am humbled by His immensity. Thank you for everyone who prayed me through this...you know how small my faith has been in protecting my heart. Words cannot express what is welling up inside my soul right now.

Next ultrasound is next Wednesday morning!

love: michelle

God's presence in our lives (and certainly in that waiting room!) has been so clearly felt and known! And here we are, a family of FIVE, praising Him for the extraordinary things He has done and continues to do! He alone is able to sustain us. He alone is worthy of our praises! My soul magnifies the Lord!!

Blessings!!!

Here's a picture of the very first time we saw Audrey and Norah. They are the little white dots in the dark circles :)(I can't get this annoying tag to go away...)