The doctors are saying MONDAY is the Big Day for Audrey.... Tomorrow (Sunday) is the end of her "5 day countdown", in which she goes 5 consecutive days without an apnea (breathing) or bradycardia (heart rate) issue. Someone please remind me that walking on egg shells and holding my breath every time we get an update from the NICU is the opposite of trusting in God!
I don't even have to ask......Y'all know what to keep doing!!!! Blessings!!!!!
(did you notice we didn't even mention the "h" word (as in, she's coming "h")?? I'm pretty sure believing in the power of jinx is also a poor assertion of faith.... I'm so glad God loves me and is in control despite me getting the sillies.)
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Chris in his office
I just thought this was cute :)
Does it look like he has to fly with his leg all bunched up?
ALSO....Chris just called Audrey's nurse...still no apnea episodes since getting in her wedge on Wednesday!! Please keep praying for her! I will try to post pictures of her little nook at the hospital. It's hilarious! She has a big girl crib with pictures, toys, and her wedge. They even hung all her clothes. She has been getting quite a bit of attention, and we joke that she won't want to come home with all that spoiling! This, too, is an answer to the prayers to ease my sadness about her being in a hospital instead of home with her family. It does my heart good to see her getting showered with love!
Does it look like he has to fly with his leg all bunched up?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Good News about Audrey
I just called our sweet nurse Lisa---Audrey has had no apnea episodes since getting settled in her wedge yesterday. Praise the Lord!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
More Answered Prayers
For those of you praying for me to feel encouraged and strengthened, I want you to know that TODAY, I feel it. Yesterday morning was a rough one for me, but after crying, praying, venting, and resting, I feel like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Getting ready for bed tonight, I realized that Audrey is at 38 weeks gestation today. Dr. M said our goal date for getting her out would be on or before her March 10th due date...that's only two more weeks. Yesterday, that felt like an eternity. Right now, I realized we have already gone 4 weeks in the NICU. Each individual day might have seemed long, but looking back on the whole, it's gone by quickly. Having already "accomplished" 4+ weeks, I'm almost excited that there's (most likely) only two more weeks to go! What a shift in perspective---from dread to excitement! Praise the Lord. Thank you, brothers and sisters, who have shared this burden with us and lifted our family in prayer. I can't imagine going through this without the strength that only HE can give!! And please know, that we also pray for you and give thanks to God for how you've helped us.
"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy" Philippians 1:3-4
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." II Corinthians 1:3-4
"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy" Philippians 1:3-4
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." II Corinthians 1:3-4
Pictures
The nurses just sent me this picture :) :) I love her messy little hand prints! <3>
Nurse Sherry made Audrey this hat ;)Norah's Homecoming 2/15/09
Audrey's hiccups again (and she's ready to eat!)
Audrey's New "Toy"
Our girl got a new set-up today! Here she is in her "Res-Q Wedge and sling" and big girl crib. The hope is that the wedge will decrease her reflux, thereby doing away with the apnea episodes.
Today Audrey weighed 5 lbs, 10 oz and Norah weighed 5 lbs, 15 oz (but they were on two different scales). Audrey is still chunkier than Norah, but Norah's noggin is bigger!
The Lord answered a specific prayer this week---Both the doctors AGREE that Audrey is not ready to come home. It's not the news we'd like to hear, but at least the doctors are on the same page. Audrey's reflux had gotten worse over the past week, so when the second doctor came in to review her charts, he concurred that she is safer to stay in the hospital until her issue is better resolved.
She has been doing better the last couple days. It could be that she is simply getting bigger and outgrowing the apnea, or it could be one of the many things they are trying out on her, which include inclining her, thickened formula, breastfeeding, and smaller volume at feedings.
Everything else is pretty normal on the home front. Chris went to work this week (lucky guy got a break from all this 'adventure'). Ethan was a gem. A NICU nurse came and watched Norah at home so I could visit with Audrey at the hospital (what a blessing!!). Another nurse offered to watch Norah on Thursday so Chris and I could go visit Audrey together; we haven't been able to do so since Norah came home over a week ago. I miss Chris and can't wait for him to get home...not just to do poop duty (my GOSH, Norah goes a lot. No, I mean A LOT. More than normal, I think), but more for his company. Plus, he keeps me level headed when I have a basketcase moment about Audrey being in the hospital.
Auntie Lisa came for a visit this weekend. She's the best aunt ever. Ethan and the girls are blessed to have her in their life.
This is such a long rambly post. Seriuosly, my brain feels like goo. I made a pot of coffee, but haven't gotten the chance to enjoy a pick-me-up yet. Maybe I should turn off the computer now.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Still no Audrey :(
She's having some reflux issues, which cause her to stop breathing...maybe one or two times a day now (she comes out of it quickly, but sometimes needs a back rub to get started again). They started her on rice cereal mixed with breast milk, and by the end of the week they will try a different thickener for the milk, in hopes that a thicker mix will stay down in her tummy better. From what we can understand, she's back on a "5 day watch"--in which she has to go 5 days without a breathing episode. There was some talk of sending her home on a monitor, but if it goes off during the middle of the night, we are supposed to take her to the emergency room. That sounds convenient. Anyway. She is 37 weeks gestation now, and hopefully she will grow out of this by 38 or 39 weeks :( That sounds like such a long time from now (I know in the whole scheme of time, it's not very long). I'm having a hard time feeling like a good mom when I'm torn between my daughter at the hospital and my kids at home. So, keep praying! :)
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Norah came home today!!
I'll try to upload pictures sometime in the next 6-8 months ;)
Keep praying for our sweet Audrey...one doctor says soon (in fact, he says she should already be out the door), the other doctor doesn't say much, so we're still in the dark. She just needs to perfect her suck, swallow, breathe pattern during her feedings so she maintains her heart rate and doesn't choke.
Ethan is doing great. I can't believe how much I love my son.
The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever!
Keep praying for our sweet Audrey...one doctor says soon (in fact, he says she should already be out the door), the other doctor doesn't say much, so we're still in the dark. She just needs to perfect her suck, swallow, breathe pattern during her feedings so she maintains her heart rate and doesn't choke.
Ethan is doing great. I can't believe how much I love my son.
The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Today I would be 36 weeks pregnant
Here is my last belly shot--a little over 33 weeks, and my belly shot from earlier this week--about 2 1/2 weeks postpartum. There's a slight difference.
Ethan asked me the other day, "Which baby looks like a girl?" I said, "They are both girls." He said, "I know, but the one with all the black hair looks like a girl, and the other one looks like a boy."
This, coupled with a new NICU mom who said, "Oh is it a boy and a girl?" and the fact that Norah eats like a pig gave me some issues about her being "boyish". So, I sewed bows on the girls hats today. Now they both look pretty and girly.
Ms. Joey came today and encouraged us SO much. It was just what I needed. She even wore her "Happy Shirt"...she wore it special for Audrey and Norah, who showed their appreciation by sleeping through her entire visit.
Ethan asked me the other day, "Which baby looks like a girl?" I said, "They are both girls." He said, "I know, but the one with all the black hair looks like a girl, and the other one looks like a boy."
This, coupled with a new NICU mom who said, "Oh is it a boy and a girl?" and the fact that Norah eats like a pig gave me some issues about her being "boyish". So, I sewed bows on the girls hats today. Now they both look pretty and girly.
Ms. Joey came today and encouraged us SO much. It was just what I needed. She even wore her "Happy Shirt"...she wore it special for Audrey and Norah, who showed their appreciation by sleeping through her entire visit.
No new news today, really. Dr. C, the neonatologist who told us to gear up for the girls' homecoming this week, talked a bit about getting geared up again. She was reviewing their charts and I didn't get a final answer before having to leave. Dr. M, the other more conservative neonatologist who canceled Norah's room-in, is on duty the next couple days. I'm expecting to not hear much from him about their homecoming. Norah is doing really well and will most likely be home before Audrey. Audrey still gets tuckered out during her bottle feeds, so she has been taking every third feeding by tube. She still needs to master the nipple before coming home.
The last couple days have been discouraging. The switch to the transitional nursery stunk...no other way to put it (they are back in the regular NICU as of last night--they had room to move them back. It's so much nicer in there!). The high to low of getting ready to have the girls home and then suddenly hearing nothing more than, "We're going to wait a bit and see" stunk. Both girls went a bit sideways on their feedings. That stunk. I'm exhausted. That stinks.
As I crawled back in bed this morning at 6:00 a.m., I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I'm ready for these sweet babies to be home. I want to snuggle them and put them to my breast and bathe them. I want Ethan to see his sisters and kiss them and touch their fingers. I want to wake to hungry, crying babies, not an alarm clock. I want to run errands with my children instead of feeling guilty because I'm not using the time to be with the babies or with Ethan (because of this, I think I've run a total of 2 errands in the past 3 weeks). I just want our family to be together.
As I thought about these things and prayed for strength and grace to get through this, the Lord reminded me..."My grace IS sufficient for you. My power is perfected in weakness" II Corinthians 12:9. The rest of the verse says, "Most gladly, therefore, I would rather boast about my weaknesses that the power of Christ may dwell in me." So, although I'm having a "sad day", there are so many other things that are praiseworthy.....
Thank you, Lord---
That Audrey and Norah are here. They are healthy. They are strong. Our challenges have been few.
They are at a hospital that is close and easy to commute to.
Chris is supportive and wonderful.
Ethan has taken this transition in stride.
We have the most beautiful of women caring for our family right now---prayers, grocery shopping, meals, taking turns caring for Ethan---we absolutely could not do this without the help we've received from family and friends.
My recovery has been easy and painless. I did not have to have my gallbladder removed. My liver issue is self-correcting (or, as we know, God is healing me).
We have opportunities to share the love and hope of Jesus with nurses and other parents on a daily basis.
The Lord is in control. He knew exactly when Audrey and Norah would be born and He knows exactly when they will come home. I can trust His timing and His plan no matter what.
Through this experience, I can grow in faith. This is another adventure in knowing my Creator more intimately than the day before.
Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to go through this time of weakness so that Your power can be manifest in me. You are the only strength I have. I want You to be glorified in me. Help me to rejoice, rejoice, rejoice in all that You are doing and all that You are allowing us to go through. Thank you because You love us, You love our girls, You love our family, and we can trust You and Your ways.
The last couple days have been discouraging. The switch to the transitional nursery stunk...no other way to put it (they are back in the regular NICU as of last night--they had room to move them back. It's so much nicer in there!). The high to low of getting ready to have the girls home and then suddenly hearing nothing more than, "We're going to wait a bit and see" stunk. Both girls went a bit sideways on their feedings. That stunk. I'm exhausted. That stinks.
As I crawled back in bed this morning at 6:00 a.m., I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I'm ready for these sweet babies to be home. I want to snuggle them and put them to my breast and bathe them. I want Ethan to see his sisters and kiss them and touch their fingers. I want to wake to hungry, crying babies, not an alarm clock. I want to run errands with my children instead of feeling guilty because I'm not using the time to be with the babies or with Ethan (because of this, I think I've run a total of 2 errands in the past 3 weeks). I just want our family to be together.
As I thought about these things and prayed for strength and grace to get through this, the Lord reminded me..."My grace IS sufficient for you. My power is perfected in weakness" II Corinthians 12:9. The rest of the verse says, "Most gladly, therefore, I would rather boast about my weaknesses that the power of Christ may dwell in me." So, although I'm having a "sad day", there are so many other things that are praiseworthy.....
Thank you, Lord---
That Audrey and Norah are here. They are healthy. They are strong. Our challenges have been few.
They are at a hospital that is close and easy to commute to.
Chris is supportive and wonderful.
Ethan has taken this transition in stride.
We have the most beautiful of women caring for our family right now---prayers, grocery shopping, meals, taking turns caring for Ethan---we absolutely could not do this without the help we've received from family and friends.
My recovery has been easy and painless. I did not have to have my gallbladder removed. My liver issue is self-correcting (or, as we know, God is healing me).
We have opportunities to share the love and hope of Jesus with nurses and other parents on a daily basis.
The Lord is in control. He knew exactly when Audrey and Norah would be born and He knows exactly when they will come home. I can trust His timing and His plan no matter what.
Through this experience, I can grow in faith. This is another adventure in knowing my Creator more intimately than the day before.
Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to go through this time of weakness so that Your power can be manifest in me. You are the only strength I have. I want You to be glorified in me. Help me to rejoice, rejoice, rejoice in all that You are doing and all that You are allowing us to go through. Thank you because You love us, You love our girls, You love our family, and we can trust You and Your ways.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9
Monday, February 9, 2009
Two steps forward, One step back
They told us to be prepared for this in the NICU....
Yesterday, I was told to bring Norah's car seat so she could take her "Car Seat Challenge" (maintain vitals while in the seat for 90 minutes) and that we would be given our CPR training. When I arrived at the hospital, the nurse had a check-list of all Norah's "going home stuff" and she told me to be prepared to room-in with her tonight and make an appointment with our pediatrician for the end of the week. The neonatologist told me that the plan was to room-in with Norah on Monday, room-in with Audrey on Tuesday, and have both girls home by Wednesday--or maybe Thursday at the latest.
Today we arrived at the hospital and the NICU was so full, our girls were moved into a "transitional nursery"-- basically an overflow room behind the regular nursery with porta-cribs and portable monitors. While the good news is that our girls are stable enough to be moved, the bad news is that now they are under the care of a whole new set of nurses (plus, I miss all the nurses I had made friends with in the NICU). Each nurse has a different way of recording the girls' vitals, and without going into much detail because I'm too tired to write about it, Norah is stepping back a couple days and Audrey may be stepping back as much as a week. The other neonatologist said he still hopes to have both girls home by the end of the week....
It's frustrating and disappointing to get four different stories from four different caregivers. We certainly don't want the girls to be sent home too early, but I'd like some consistancy in what we're being told. We were told to be prepared for day-to-day changes...but I didn't think it would be shift-to-shift or nurse-to-nurse changes!
To end on a couple happy notes---
Both girls passed their hearing screen. They can hear us tell them how much we love them and hear our prayers over them!
Both girls ate SUPER GREAT (50-60 ml) for us today
Norah passed her car seat challenge with flying colors
Both girls are maintaining their temps in the open cribs ("big girl cribs", as the nurse described them)
They are both gaining weight well
In other good/bad news---I officially dominated and overflowed the nursery's freezer. They applauded me for my wonderful supply, then kindly asked me to stop bringing them milk. The nurse gave me a box of 100 bottles less than a week ago, and then I got another 25 or so two days ago. The box and bag are empty. I guess we need to buy a mini-freezer. Or maybe not so mini.
Yesterday, I was told to bring Norah's car seat so she could take her "Car Seat Challenge" (maintain vitals while in the seat for 90 minutes) and that we would be given our CPR training. When I arrived at the hospital, the nurse had a check-list of all Norah's "going home stuff" and she told me to be prepared to room-in with her tonight and make an appointment with our pediatrician for the end of the week. The neonatologist told me that the plan was to room-in with Norah on Monday, room-in with Audrey on Tuesday, and have both girls home by Wednesday--or maybe Thursday at the latest.
Today we arrived at the hospital and the NICU was so full, our girls were moved into a "transitional nursery"-- basically an overflow room behind the regular nursery with porta-cribs and portable monitors. While the good news is that our girls are stable enough to be moved, the bad news is that now they are under the care of a whole new set of nurses (plus, I miss all the nurses I had made friends with in the NICU). Each nurse has a different way of recording the girls' vitals, and without going into much detail because I'm too tired to write about it, Norah is stepping back a couple days and Audrey may be stepping back as much as a week. The other neonatologist said he still hopes to have both girls home by the end of the week....
It's frustrating and disappointing to get four different stories from four different caregivers. We certainly don't want the girls to be sent home too early, but I'd like some consistancy in what we're being told. We were told to be prepared for day-to-day changes...but I didn't think it would be shift-to-shift or nurse-to-nurse changes!
To end on a couple happy notes---
Both girls passed their hearing screen. They can hear us tell them how much we love them and hear our prayers over them!
Both girls ate SUPER GREAT (50-60 ml) for us today
Norah passed her car seat challenge with flying colors
Both girls are maintaining their temps in the open cribs ("big girl cribs", as the nurse described them)
They are both gaining weight well
In other good/bad news---I officially dominated and overflowed the nursery's freezer. They applauded me for my wonderful supply, then kindly asked me to stop bringing them milk. The nurse gave me a box of 100 bottles less than a week ago, and then I got another 25 or so two days ago. The box and bag are empty. I guess we need to buy a mini-freezer. Or maybe not so mini.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Skidamarinkadinkadink
Ethan's *perfect* muffin-faced rendition...
(Thank you, Ms. Mistie, for teaching him this song. It made my heart melt when he busted into it the other day at the park.)
(Thank you, Ms. Mistie, for teaching him this song. It made my heart melt when he busted into it the other day at the park.)
Friday, February 6, 2009
Two Weeks Today
Happy Two Week Birthday to our girls! The NICU got so full this week that our girls get to co-bed. Both girls are gaining well. Audrey was taken off her morning "Starbucks" today (her caffeine to help keep her heart rate up), and she will be monitored to see how she does. She will need to be off the caffeine for 5-7 days before she can come home. Norah inhales her feedings and is on all nipple feeds now. She was offered 50 ml of breastmilk today to see how much she would take, and she took every last drop in under 10 minutes! The nurse today said Norah could be making her homecoming in the next few days, with Audrey not far behind. We are trying not to get too excited since things can change from day to day, but this was great news! Praise God for getting us through this time. Whether the girls come home next week or not, we are two weeks closer to their homecoming!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Fragrance and the Joy
I've had two verses running through my head today:
"Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place." 2 Corinthians 2:14
and
"...The joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10
When I dropped Ethan off at school this morning, I got lots of welcomed hugs from those who have been praying for our family. When I settled into a chair at home, I became uncommonly aware of all the different perfumes that had rubbed off on me--sweet scents from women in the body of Christ who had 'diffused the fragrance' of our Savior with me. My heart swelled at the thought of the time and effort people have spent lifting up our girls to Jesus, how He has been answering prayers, and how He is letting us be part of His glorious plan. Truly, He is leading us in triumph through this time, giving us glimpses of His knowledge as He uses believers to intercede on the behalf of our family.
After leaving the hospital this afternoon, the sunshine felt comforting and reassuring as I drove home. I was thinking about the "triumph" of the day (Audrey was up to 4 lbs, 1 oz and Norah was up to 4 lbs, 2 oz--each others' birth weights) and the joy that it brought me. That's when the verse, "The joy of the LORD is your strength" popped into my head. Thank you, Lord, for giving us joy and leading us in triumph. You are the reason we have strength to face the day with JOY!! You are my strength and I love you!!
"Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place." 2 Corinthians 2:14
and
"...The joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10
When I dropped Ethan off at school this morning, I got lots of welcomed hugs from those who have been praying for our family. When I settled into a chair at home, I became uncommonly aware of all the different perfumes that had rubbed off on me--sweet scents from women in the body of Christ who had 'diffused the fragrance' of our Savior with me. My heart swelled at the thought of the time and effort people have spent lifting up our girls to Jesus, how He has been answering prayers, and how He is letting us be part of His glorious plan. Truly, He is leading us in triumph through this time, giving us glimpses of His knowledge as He uses believers to intercede on the behalf of our family.
After leaving the hospital this afternoon, the sunshine felt comforting and reassuring as I drove home. I was thinking about the "triumph" of the day (Audrey was up to 4 lbs, 1 oz and Norah was up to 4 lbs, 2 oz--each others' birth weights) and the joy that it brought me. That's when the verse, "The joy of the LORD is your strength" popped into my head. Thank you, Lord, for giving us joy and leading us in triumph. You are the reason we have strength to face the day with JOY!! You are my strength and I love you!!
Monday, February 2, 2009
11 Days Down
Ethan sitting in Sadie's new bed holding a skeleton hand & watching cartoons.... just thought that was funny...
Norah after her bath...fuzzy hair
Grandma & Norah
I hope this isn't an indication of her future personality!(It was actually the beginning of a yawn)
Norah just kickin' it
Norah & Audrey
Audrey & Norah
Sweet Audrey sleeping
And in other happy news, I saw my doctor today and had a lab draw. He is confident my enzyme and bile salt levels will show normal, but I won't get official results for another couple days. AND, while I miss being pregnant SO MUCH (but so glad to know my sweet girls are safe and healthy), it feels good to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight :) Not bad for 11 days postpartum. It's nice to have a selection of shirts and jeans again.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Thank you!!
Just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all the encouragement, comments, support, and prayers we have received over the last week. I haven't quite found the time or energy to respond to each of you individually, but please know that we are blessed by your calls, comments, emails, notes, etc. I am moved to know that so many people are praying for our sweet girls and for our family. We have a God who HEARS and it is awesome to be part of the amazing things He is doing!
I just got back from a visit with Audrey and Norah. No big news to report...and no news means no set-backs! Praise God! Both girls weigh 3 lbs, 15 oz, so only a few more ounces before they are back up to their birth weight. I put Norah in a pink onesie today :) Audrey was snuggled in peacefully, so I'll put her cute onesie on later.
Chris went back to work on Saturday, and he misses his kiddos (all three of them). We have gotten so used to him being home! He only has work over the course of the next 9 days, and then he's on vacation for 6 weeks. Certainly our family will all be together during that time (we're praying!!).
We have received so much support from our KDO family, taking care of Ethan and providing meals this past week. Chris' wonderful parents came into town last night. They came straight from a cruise to the airport...they are just that awesome. Ethan is golfing with Grandpa right now and Grandma is working her genius sewing skills for her granddaughters' nursery. I'm off to grab lunch before having to "make" lunch for the babies...again.... and then hopefully a nap!
love: michelle
I just got back from a visit with Audrey and Norah. No big news to report...and no news means no set-backs! Praise God! Both girls weigh 3 lbs, 15 oz, so only a few more ounces before they are back up to their birth weight. I put Norah in a pink onesie today :) Audrey was snuggled in peacefully, so I'll put her cute onesie on later.
Chris went back to work on Saturday, and he misses his kiddos (all three of them). We have gotten so used to him being home! He only has work over the course of the next 9 days, and then he's on vacation for 6 weeks. Certainly our family will all be together during that time (we're praying!!).
We have received so much support from our KDO family, taking care of Ethan and providing meals this past week. Chris' wonderful parents came into town last night. They came straight from a cruise to the airport...they are just that awesome. Ethan is golfing with Grandpa right now and Grandma is working her genius sewing skills for her granddaughters' nursery. I'm off to grab lunch before having to "make" lunch for the babies...again.... and then hopefully a nap!
love: michelle
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